Neuroscience for Parents – Happy Parents, Happier Kids
Healing your past wounds, managing stressful situations as parents, parenting with calm, love, acceptance
What you’ll learn
Parents will get from the questions and answers in this course the basic SKILLS TO BE HAPPY PARENTS. The skills to be a happier parent are usually overlooked
There are no special requirements for this course, not even to be a parent yet, because there are quite a few questions and answers not necessarily related to one’s children, but to one’s own childhood. For example why we don’t remember things from our early childhood, and how those things influence who we are now. Moreover, how can we start digging for those and wounds well hidden?
In order to grow tall and strong, a tree needs strong and healthy roots.
We don’t know what makes a child happy, because emotions are not placed in a human by hand, are not transferable as if they were objects, they grow as a subjective experience. But what we know is that parents are models for their children, and seeing parenting as a way to fix children or to change or improve their behavior is like practicing medicine only looking at the symptoms, never at the root cause.
A happy parent has a great chance to have happy kids because children tend to copy moods, and behaviors, actions, and states of being, rather than words and empty commands. They become what they see, not what they are told to.
We live in a society which doesn’t really make a parent’s “job” easier. True, we have diapers and washing machines, but we are expected to excel in this parenting job (which by the way, it is never considered to be a PROPER job, though it can be quite exhausting) among all our other jobs and duties.
An old lady, a grandmother of 4 nephews and mother of 2 daughters, once told me, seeing me on the plane with my two active and always curious boys: “You know, had I been a mother in these times, with all the facilities, I don’t think I would have made it. Honestly. It is just too much and too hard.”
I thought about that and realized she is right. Too much information, contradictory at times, too much pressure to be perfect in all areas, we are too exposed to our imperfections (by comparing our children with the GLOBE) and too obliged to do it all PERFECT. And the more we try to fix our kids, the more unhappy and trapped we feel.
What makes a parent happy? What do we need to feel happy and fulfilled? Not just in the relationship with the child, but in relationship with ourselves.
My name is Ina Ilie, I am the mother of two, I studied psychopedagogy, I have a masters degree in Cognitive Science, I conduct parenting workshops and I do counseling sessions with parents like you, helping them understand the real reasons of their struggling and find the answers they were searching for.
There are over 30 questions in this course, questions I have from the parents and children I have worked with, and there are 30 matching answers from my experience as a mother, cognitive scientist and pedagog, working with both parents and children.
- Why do we get so angry especially at our children at times?
- How can I dig into my emotional legacy and how not to drag it into the relationship with my child?
- What can we do when we feel like exploding?
- What is self-compassion and does it really help?
- Am I a good mother?
- Why do children interrupt us when we are the busiest?
- Am I responsible for their happiness?
- Why don’t they respect me or the grandparents anymore – where has all respect go?
- When should I be friendly, when should I be firm?
- Does it matter if I am calm, supportive, only once in a while?
- Why do I feel guilty when I take time for myself?
- What should I teach my children?
- Is it OK to praise them in order to encourage them?
- How can I talk to my child so that he feels understood and supported?
- What about the conflicts between children, when and how to intervene?
These are some of the questions – there are many others, that captured my interest and I trust the answers, honest answers, from my heart – like from one parent to another – and at the same time based on my professional expertise will be of great help.
Most parenting courses focus on children, in an attempt to fix their behavior, trying to make them more disciplined, a bit less nervous, help them cope with their emotions, in other words attempting to change the kids and their reactions. But the core problem, that of the nature of the relationship between children and parents, the one that matters the most, that is not addressed and the happiness is not necessarily attained.
The happiness of me as a parent stands on the happiness of me as a human being. If we, as human beings, have unsolved problems, or unhealed wounds from the past, we’ll most probably pass them to our children. And then, through all sorts of so-called “parenting” techniques and methods, try to fix them in the child. Our problems! So, of course, we find it difficult, of course, the result is not always the best.
In this course I go to the core problem, how to be happy as human beings, in order to be happy as parents, and then, have happy kids, taking our happiness as a model. Because the trick is: CHILDREN COPY US, WE ARE MODELS for them. So a true efficient parenting course must focus on how parents really feel, how fulfilled they are, how balanced their relationships are, how satisfying is life for them.
At the end of this course, I hope that you can have a better understanding of what makes you happy and how you can infuse that happiness in the relationship with your child.
Because, in the end, as there is no bigger wish a parent has than to see his child happy, there is no bigger wish a child has than to see his parent happy. Ask your child 🙂
Who this course is for:
- This course addresses parents in general, and it is especially dedicated to parents who don’t want parenting advice, but answers based on science (neuroscience, in particular), psychology, and pedagogy. The course is structured more like a workshop with questions and answers because all parents don’t need anymore is the condescendence of another parenting expert telling them how to be good parents (there aren’t such things as good or bad parents, by the way. only happy and less than happy parents)